Romance and Reptiles

Why is it always when you have a trillion things on your mind and a quadrillion things on your to-do list that it seems like a good time to satisfy dormant lifelong curiosities such as: How do snakes have sex? I sacrificed half a day in order to develop a conversational knowledge of rreptilian mating rituals. Similarly to human sex (pre-tinder pre-internet), they begin by dancing! Some of them bite each other too, but the (surprisingly synchronized) dance makes snakes seem sort of romantic. see below:

Cuuute, right? Until the male inserts his terrifying two-pronged penis into the female’s cloaca.

😦

I suppose the lesson I learned is that things only seem romantic when you’re not entirely certain what exactly you’re looking at. Mystery is essential. Don’t ask too many questions.

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